Domestic Violence

Recently, I met a woman named Mary who works with the victims of domestic violence and abuse. I told her at the time that it seemed like her work was both very hard and very valuable. I think also it's a job that doesn't get nearly enough appreciation.

After talking with her for quite a while, I told her that I'd pray for her and the children and families she works with. And I did. And it became clear to me that just saying "Dear God" and "Amen" wasn't all I should do.

So, I asked Pastor Keith if I could have a "Minute for Mission" during worship last Sunday, which turned out to be Domestic Abuse Awareness Sunday. That still doesn't seem enough, and I'm on the lookout for where Christ leads me next, but here's what I said:


This is for the men this morning. You women can listen in if you like, but this is about a mission for men.

This is also a minute for mission where I'm not going to ask you for money, or for a lot of your time. I'm not going to give you statistics or heart-wrenching stories either. I know, weird.

This is Domestic Violence Awareness Sunday. And while domestic violence does occur against all sexes and all ages, the most apparent victims are often women and children, I think the deepest victims are us men. Men are the ones who most often turn into monsters, and men are the ones who most often look the other way.

For this minute for mission I ask you men to join me in trying to bring just a little light to this awful sin men like us do to ourselves and to women and children.

I'm asking you men to stop seeing domestic violence as a women's issue. It's a men's issue as much as it's anyone's issue.

I'm asking you men to look carefully around you for signs of domestic abuse. You don't have to call the cops unless it's really obvious, but you can at least publicly let people know that you think violence has no place in the home. You might think that's obvious, but it's not for many people.

I don't know if this next applies to anyone here, but just in case, I'm asking you men that if violence does enter your house, that you seek help. To be honest, it's going to be harder for you to find it than it is for women. But don't just hope that it will go away. Man up and do something about it.

We are not well-served as men with the worn images of domestic violence as only something that happens in trailer parks or housing projects, because it's not. We are not well-served as men with the attitude that everyone knows hitting a woman or a child is wrong, because they don't.

The Bible says nothing if it does not say that God stands firmly with the lost, the lonely, the outsider, the sinner, the man or woman who does not have control over their lives. Christ does not only love the victim, but the sinner. I ask you to join me in spreading Christ's love by drawing light to domestic abuse, and working to end it forever.

Comments

Hannah Thomas said…
I think one of the biggest assets a church could do for area shelters is being available for families when they are in crisis over the violence, and with what some churches state 'you must stay no matter what' sends some women into a tailspin. I'm not talking divorce - I'm saying escaping the violence for that moment.

There is a huge struggle with roles, submission, conv. of marriage, etc. All these issues are issues women and men struggle with as they deal with the family violence. Shelters can't always deal with the faith aspect of this. A Partnership between the shelters and churches would be the best things you could do. Reminding them about the Love of Christ as they deal with the impact this has on their family.

I know my shelter sent me to talk to a 'safe church'. One that understood the dynamics of domestic violence. I can't tell how much helped me. I was so lost.

That experience truly impacted my life for the better.
Tim Ruppel said…
Thanks for your comments, Hannah. I'll bring your idea to the attention of our pastor and session. I'm not certain of the details, but this sounds like a good mission opportunity for us.

I'm certain that no one at our church would even think of sending a victim of domestic violence back into that situation without being very sure of their safety.

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